One Sunday not long after that I found myself driving down the street those two got off at. Sort of coincidence, I guess. I kind of slowed down and looked the neighborhood over, and sure enough, I'd hardly gone a couple. blocks when I spotted both of them. They were out in front of a duplex working in the garden. Both had on bright trunks and they were busy as little bees. I said to myself right then, "Those two are queer." All the neighbors were lounging around with the comics and warm beer but not these two guys. You could look at how too much better their place was than everybody else's and see there was something wrong somewhere.

Right then I got an idea. If I could pop in on a fairy festival that these characters throw every so often, I'd stand a good chance of getting back in favor and maybe even get a promotion. All I'd have to do would be keep an eye on the place weekend nights. No trouble at all! I began to feel glad I'd run into them that day on the bus.

That feeling didn't last. Weeks passed and all I ever see is them just doing the stuff everybody does around the house. No parties, hardly any company at all. I got disgusted and decided to give it up, then I got to thinking what they'd done to me and I got mad and decided to stick it out. I thought to myself, maybe these two are exceptions and don't give parties. Okay but that doesn't mean they're like you and me. I scouted the place and found a nice bushy window I could peek in without being seen from behind, and I began going up there now and then to watch for a half hour or so. I'd decided to settle on raiding them if it was only a party for two. I'm a dogged sort of guy.

Well, it was the sort of job that called for

one

a dogged guy, I can tell you. The only thing. that kept me at it was the thought of the Sergeant shaking my hand. I couldn't see very much from the angle the window was at but even then these two characters never did anything. It was like looking in on anybody and I got madder and madder. They just planned meals and argued how much garlic salt should go in the meat loaf, and took turns doing the dishes. They washed out socks and ironed shirts. and talked for hours about how they were going to fix the place once they had the money. They'd taken it unfurnished and it was kind of bare. Man, the yak about what color to paint the front room and what kind of coffee table they'd make and how long the curtains ought to be! I thought I'd I'd go nuts-and my neck nearly broke. And there were spats but they didn't stay mad long; that little one seemed to hold out the longest. I'd go home disgusted and asking myself just what I was doing there squatting in those bushes. But a hard job is supposed to make a man all the more determined. I kicked myself right in line, set up regular hours and even began taking my camera along. No lousy perverts were going to make me give up!

Even when I couldn't see them, I could hear about everything they said. There was lots of talk about how good-looking this guy or that one was down at their offices or in a movie or somewhere, and builds, builds, builds. They wore trunks around the house most of the time and there were silences in there. But none of all that's really what you can call an act against nature in court. That sort of thing they were real careful about because none of it was done for any sort of an audience -even one as close as I was. They were always running around and pulling down the

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